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By Jody Ulich
I’m not sure when it happened, but suddenly my two children have grown up
into beautiful young women, and one of them is now a high school graduate
heading for college.
So much time has passed since first bringing her home
from the hospital. I remember joking with my husband that here they were
sending us home with this little person and we couldn’t find the operating
manual anywhere. Since both of us were theater technicians, we were very
comfortable with operating manuals. Everything else we had brought home
included that ever-important operating manual and warranty card — cameras,
television, VCR — everything. We even had three copies of the Kliegl
Performer Operating Manual, just in case. Just not one for this little
child, who we would guess to be more complicated than anything else we’d
brought home to date.
With no operating manual, a strict no-return policy,
and no three-year bumper-to-bumper warranty, we embarked on the adventure of
a lifetime — and oh, the lessons we have learned. Sure, we went through
training, but it always looks easier when someone else is doing it. You know
the drill — the contents of the bottle go in this end, and yada yada yada,
eventually comes out this end, wipe, sanitize and voila, success. Now repeat
12,353 times.
If you’re a parent, you may be smirking a bit here
because you know that it doesn’t always happen that way. Sometimes the
contents just don’t go in. Sometimes they come out the wrong way. Sometimes
they don’t come out at all (that’s bad, by the way). We quickly learned to
expect the unexpected and to be prepared to deal with whatever comes out.
As my husband and I matured in our newfound job, there
were other obstacles and lessons. For instance, if the screaming is
immediate and doesn’t subside, that’s cause for concern. If, however, the
screaming doesn’t occur immediately but instead waits until the subject can
hunt you down wherever you are, even down the street or in the basement,
concern doesn’t need to be at high alert.
Sometimes just a little attention needs to be given,
but generally there’s no need to rush off to the hospital. Many times, the
parents can’t be found because they’ve ducked behind the window or under a
table, and the screaming child figures out on his own that he’s not bleeding
and returns to the activity at hand.
I believe that my husband and I excelled at being
parents because we were so well-prepared by entering the profession of
technical theater. As facility managers and theater professionals we work
long, bizarre hours, and no two days are the same. Each day brought a new
set of challenges and endless rewards. As with parenting, a sense of humor
was always required to make it through the long hours.
As a young technician, I recall one infamous road trip
where the company manager forgot to book rooms for the technical crew.
Normally this wouldn’t have been a problem, except during quail and deer
season in the Oklahoma panhandle. Apparently this is a very popular time to
load up the truck and shoot a few in Guymon, Okla.
Being a resourceful crew, we contacted a local church
and were able to book their basement, complete with a full kitchen. Sharing
a single basement with 10 snoring technicians — simply priceless. The
“Living Nativity” set up at 3 a.m. after load-in with props found in the
basement — so much better.
There are also the many stories of performers who have
graced our halls. One performer, a vegetarian, disapproved of the crew lunch
and proceeded to have it all thrown away. She then graciously replaced it
with a spread of vegetables and tofu. Of course, when you’ve been loading in
a show all day, even tofu can appear satisfying. One hint: Some pizza
deliveries can actually be made to a car in a parking lot and can be kept
warm for some time in the Arizona sun.
As with parents who swap stories of their children,
there’s nothing better than getting together with theater professionals and
sharing experiences. Often times, you have the same stories, just different
theaters in different towns. I had the grand opportunity to do this with two
of my IAAM colleagues on a car trip across the state of New York. Many of
the stories seemed the same, even though all three of us worked in different
areas of the United States.
Now, as my oldest prepares to go off to college, I
counsel her to choose a career that will be rewarding and make her want to
go to work every day. I tell her that she should choose a career that brings
new adventures, and is fun and filled with people who entered their field
not to make lots of money but because they had a passion for what they do.
That’s certainly why I chose the theater as my profession and why I still
enjoy going to work every day. fm
Jody Ulich is cultural services director for the city of Tempe, Ariz.
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