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By Helen
Wilkie
Have you heard of the Law of
Contrast? What about the Law of Authority? Or the Law of Social Proof? You
won’t find these laws in your country’s constitution or legal writings, but
whether you realize it or not they affect your life every day. That’s
because people are using these laws to influence your thoughts and actions.
We all know, of course, that the advertising industry is constantly “pushing
our buttons” — that’s how they persuade us to buy the goods and services
they’re selling. We accept that.
Sometimes we’re aware of the tactics and consciously decide whether or not
to respond, but for most of the time we’re oblivious to them. We simply
react, and very often we do so with the desired response — their desired
response.
These laws are psychological laws, and they work because we human beings are
remarkably predictable. We may be different from each other in our
personalities, backgrounds, belief systems, characters and other ways, but
our basic human psychological responses are surprisingly similar.
Advertisers and other promoters have found ways to use these psychological
laws to shape our behavior.
But why leave this advantage just in the hands of advertisers. Can’t we use
these laws ourselves to influence others? Yes, we certainly can. Let me give
you just a small example, using the Law of Contrast to illustrate.
Relatively Speaking
I’m sure you’ve heard the expression, “Everything’s relative.” I might think
a particular car is expensive but Bill Gates probably wouldn’t, because our
benchmarks vary according to our spending power. The plumber might tell me a
small job will take “only two hours,” but if I had expected it to be a
matter of minutes, I would think two hours is a long time.
These are illustrations of how the Law of Contrast uses benchmarks to
compare such things as amounts of money, lengths of time or any other
measures. To use this law, you need to learn to set your own benchmarks, and
to express them in a way that benefits you.
Let’s say, for example, that you’re running behind in setting up a meeting
room for a conference presentation, and you decide to ask a colleague for
help. You know the other person is busy, so you must exert as much influence
as possible to enlist his help.
In this case, you call upon the Law of Contrast to help you out. You might
say, “Bill, I wouldn’t ask you to do everything. If you could just put the
handouts on the seats and put water glasses on the tables, I’ll take care of
everything else.”
Now if there are 500 seats, the job isn’t exactly small. But by ending your
request by saying you’ll take care of everything else, you position his part
as a small task. And by mentioning the word “everything” twice, you’ve
magnified in his mind the total size of the job, so that again his part
seems small in contrast.
Now, of course, if Bill stopped to consider your request, he would realize
this. But the fact is, most people don’t stop to think, so the Law of
Contrast goes unimpeded into their consciousness and does its work. Now
isn’t that a useful thing to know?
There are, in fact, seven such laws, known as the Seven Laws of Influence,
and if you learn how to use them, they can give you a huge advantage at work
and in other areas of your life.
At the IAAM Annual Conference in Salt Lake City, I’ll be helping people
learn to use them in my program, “How to get people to do what you want
without bribery, blackmail or a magic wand!”
If you’re coming to the conference, come along and learn not only how to
influence others, but also to recognize when they’re trying to influence
you. That way, you can decide rationally how to respond.
Helen Wilkie is a professional
speaker, workshop leader and author, specializing in communication at work.
The 2007 Annual Convention will be the fifth IAAM event at which she has
spoken. Reach Helen at (416) 966-5023 or hwilkie@mhwcom.com |
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