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Oh, don’t worry about differences in customs and etiquette. Just be
polite wherever you go.” That’s the advice I got from my Chicago boss
many years ago while preparing for my first expatriate assignment. “Hey,
great advice!” we thought as my wife and I headed for Germany. Then over
the next two years, we learned that what is courteous behavior in our
country can be impolite in someone else’s.
A good example is the difference in forms of address. Two Americans
meeting for the first time usually introduce themselves with their full
names, then switch immediately to first names. Most Europeans, however,
expect more formality. So when I met with my company’s biggest European
customer, a German firm in Stuttgart, I had to address my counterpart as
“Dr. Schmidt” and “Herr Doktor.” Using his first name would have been
rude. When I left for the States two years later, he and I were still
addressing each other in the European way.
Nowadays in Scandinavia, where I do management training, most people are
on a first-name basis. But in the rest of Europe and around the world,
the preference is for the formal style. My advice: Use family names and
titles with international visitors until they invite you to switch to
first names.
First Impressions
International formality extends to etiquette issues, such as meeting and
greeting. Business visitors from East and Southeast Asia normally hand
you their cards using both hands and with a little bow. It is polite to
hand them your card in the same way. And I try
to remember that most Asians prefer a softer handshake than Americans
are used to. Many Indian and Thai women prefer not to shake hands at
all. Their favored greeting is to press the palms of their hands
together in an elegant prayer-like gesture while inclining the head in a
slight bow. The Indian name for this gesture is namaste; in Thailand
it’s called wai.
Southern Europeans and Latin Americans do more touching than North
Americans and northern Europeans. Researchers compared the touch
behavior of the British and French by videotaping couples at outdoor
cafés. They found that while sipping their drinks and chatting, French
men and women touched each other an average of 140 times per hour. I was
surprised to learn that the tapes showed the British men and women not
touching at all. My wife said, “Well, maybe not at outdoor cafés, but
they probably did some touching when they got home. Babies do continue
to be born in the UK!”
Learning the Lingo
Small talk is an important feature of meeting and greeting visitors. If
I am meeting an American businessperson for the first time in New York
or Chicago, I expect to start talking business within four or five
minutes; in the South, maybe within eight or 10 minutes. Northern
European businesspeople expect about that same amount of chitchat;
Italians, French and Spaniards expect quite a bit more. But in Japan,
conversation at the first meeting often excludes business altogether in
favor of general chatter about sushi, sashimi, Mount Fujiyama and the
like. As with other relationship-focused Asians, the Japanese want to
get to know you and build rapport before getting down to business.
Another element of meeting etiquette is interpersonal space. The “space
bubble” between people varies in size depending on where you are. In
Italy, for instance, we found that people stand very close together when
being introduced, while Americans tend to stand an arm’s length apart.
On the other hand, two traditional Arab gentlemen may stand close enough
to exchange breath. For them, someone who prefers to stand an arm’s
length away is unfriendly, perhaps even hostile.
Punctuality also varies greatly around the globe. During our two
assignments in Germany, we learned that business meetings start
precisely on time and continue without interruption except for asking
whether you prefer tea or coffee. But my meetings with government
officials in India never started on time and were constantly interrupted
by phone calls and drop-in visitors.
It seems the closer you are to the equator, the less important
punctuality becomes. On my first visit to Rio de Janeiro, I received an
invitation to dinner at 8 p.m. Arriving at 8:30, I found my hostess
still in the shower. That’s because in equatorial Brazil, an invitation
for dinner at 8 really means “please come around 9:30 or so.” That
embarrassing gaffe taught me to always find out about the local time
behavior before visiting a new country.
Gift-giving is another complication of international business etiquette.
If invited to someone’s home in Europe, you will want to bring flowers,
but remember to avoid red roses and white chrysanthemums. The former
implies you have romantic intentions toward your hostess; the latter are
more appropriate for funerals. Fine wines, premium spirits and
good-quality chocolates are welcome all over Europe, but skip the
alcohol in Muslim cultures.
In Chinese cultures, it’s wise to avoid giving a clock or a watch — the
Chinese words for these items sound like their words for death and hence
bring bad luck. For a similar reason, the number four is unlucky in
Chinese cultures, so avoid giving gifts such as golf balls, which come
in sets of four. (That, by the way, also explains why hotels and office
buildings in East and Southeast Asia generally have no fourth floor.)
Other Asian gift taboos include knives, scissors and letter openers:
Sharp-edged objects symbolize the cutting off of your relationship.
Body Language
For me, gestures are the trickiest aspect of international business
etiquette because they send powerful nonverbal messages, and
unfortunately some gestures mean different things in different
countries. For example, when sitting with legs crossed, if the sole of
our shoe points toward someone in the room, that is very offensive in
most Muslim, Hindu and Buddhist cultures.
In those same cultures, the left hand is considered unclean. So when our
oldest son — a southpaw — managed a company in Muslim Indonesia, he
signed all letters and documents with his left hand, but passed them on
to his local staff with his right hand.
The “thumbs up” sign is fine here in the U.S. but is considered obscene
in Australia and the Middle East. Similarly, we beckon someone by
crooking our index finger, whereas in Southeast Asia, we do that by
extending our hand palm down and making a scooping motion that looks
like “bye, bye!” to Americans.
Then there is the ubiquitous “A-OK” gesture, with thumb and forefinger
making a circle, which has a positive meaning in most of the world. But
please do not use it in Brazil, where it is the most vulgar and obscene
of all hand gestures.
So, yes, my boss was right: We should be polite wherever we go in the
world. But to be polite in today’s global marketplace means learning
about the many differences in international business etiquette. fm
Make plans to hear Richard Gesteland present “Global Business Etiquette”
during the Global Issues session sponsored by VenuWorks at the 83rd
Annual IAAM Conference & Trade Show on Saturday, July 26, 2008, in
Anaheim, Calif. Following Mr. Gesteland’s presentation, the chair of the
International Steering Committee, Bob Mayer, CFE, along with colleagues
from IAAM-Europe, Venue Managers Association and others will provide an
update on global issues.
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